Friday, June 13, 2014

blah blah abuse fart

kool-aid man oh, yeaaahhhh
If you're not for me, you're a misogynist troll.

Hi, Shakestownies. It's been awhile. Not that it's anyone's business but it was time for me to take a rare and much needed break from the treacherous demands of writing full-time for a thankless community that continues to disunderstand that I cannot write full-time for free and that full-time writing is clearly my fucking calling.

But an important concern has arisen which I am compelled to discuss, regardless of whether or not you have earned the privilege of consuming my discourse: ABUSE.

If you're not for me, you're an abusive troll.

Everywhere else on the planetverse you may have found yourself subject to abuse. This is why I have done my best to make this space as safe as possible. Yet, I suffer constant abuse from misogynist dickholes who send me rape threats on a daily basis and feminist skeptics who start their own blogs in order to accuse me of emotionally abusing and manipulating my readership and doing feminism and journalism multiple disservices.

Readers, you should know that while these skeptics may purport to be feminists with legitimate concerns, you can assume based on my own judgment that they are simply abusive rape apologists armed with empty rhetoric in different clothing. The majority of them are in fact disgruntled former commenters who are just bitter because I would not allow them to flout the clearly articulated rules that have been set out to make this a safe space or because I would not bend my values to acknowledge the ways in which I was emotionally/verbally abusing and manipulating them or other commenters or blah blah something or other gargbage wevs.

If you're not for me, you're a disgruntled troll.

You should also know that these poorly-tempered feminists have a penchant not just for re-posting and analyzing my carefully written, thoughtful articles, but they may also read and re-post your publicly available comments as well, as they analyze our comment threads for abusive patterns. So please be advised that I cannot control what happens to your words after you post them publicly on a highly trafficked website. So, that is something to think about in addition to determining whether your comment on the topic of a given post is relevant to that post or whether it will reveal you to be a thoughtless, derailer of the feminist cause.

So, be careful out there, Shakestownies. I am one of the only people you can trust.

And if you're not for me, you're an untrustworthy troll. 

ETA: Anyone who wishes to HARASS me by re-posting or commenting on this post elsewhere on sites that I claim to not even read, is a harassing troll.


  1. "feminist skeptics who start their own blogs in order to accuse me of emotionally abusing and manipulating my readership."


    Not you! never you, my queen. Thank you for keeping this space safe for yourself. It's a real service to the quivering, groveling PTSD sufferers of the earth to have be allowed into that special place, a room of Judith Shakestown's own, where the spirit of Judith Shakestown can expand and expound. Seeing you in your shining glory, cocktail fork aloft, giving your patented "Crotch Gun of Contempt" gesture to the naysayers, makes it all worth it.


  2. JUDITH! !! I am so glad to see you back.

    I was genuinely wishing and hoping you would come back and do more work but wouldn't ever dare utter those actual syllables in case it made you feel like you should do more of the work you claim to do.

  3. Judith! I was worried about you, so I both sent you and didn't send you an e-mail or concern and well-wishing. If looking at my e-mail subject line or reading the body of the e-mail or seeing my name caused you any distression or invisibilizidizing or triggeringnessosity, I prostrate myself at your feet and promise and vow and pinky-swear that I will not send you and not not send you any more e-mails enquiring after your wee welfare.