Thursday, January 16, 2014

wendy davis transcript

I am super busy today with my cocktail forking, but made time to help out with the Wendy Davis filibuster transcript sisyphus project. Here is what I have so far!

A white, able-bodied, cis woman walks to the front of the room. Walkity walk! Her shoes are a color that might appear pink if you are color seeing. She stands there. Sassy pose. All kinds of standing there. Her arms hang there like arms! She is THERE. Her feet are on the floor. THE FLOOR.

Then, she opens her mouth. And out come WORDS. Bleep blop bloop. She speaks. She says blarghity blargh abortion fart women's reproductive rights beep bop boop. Her sweet lips are like a queer man's jazz hands as words tumble and cascade from her gay-souled mouth. She takes a breathdoodliedoo. And she. keeps. talking. She is positively cromulent.

All the cocktail forks to that adorable little lady.


  1. I can't stop laughing! Well done. Also, "Kickety-kick the skatey feet" is one of the most irritating phrases I've read in the English language. (Just had to get that off my chest)

    1. mayayuxwatl, I can't find anything wrong with your comment, but because I had to spend so much time thinking about it, I find that you are requiring too much of the moderators' time. Please cease garbage existing immediately.

  2. Replies
    1. sweetpea, it is not my job to read your mind. It is my job to be PSOFF (princess slut of fuck forest). I am so fucking tired of this community demanding that I read your minds and put everyone else's feelings and health before my own. It's insultuous.

      I must also point out that the handle sweetpea nonexistences peas that are tart, bitter, or tasteless. I am going to require that you add the content note "pea hatred" to all future posts.

  3. *dies* :D Oops! Forgot to add a content note! My new favorite blog.

  4. pitbullgirlnumbers, I realize you are new here, but in the future you should be more careful about how you phrase statements like "Forgot to add a content note." The way your post is worded makes it sound like you are saying that I forgot to do something and need to do more work (I always interpret all things to be all about me). However, I intentionally did not put a content note in this post for reasons that are personal to me and that you should have known. I really don't want to keep having to say this. Quit it out.

  5. (CN: groveling )I'm sorry Judith for making you work more. I will be more careful from now on. Forgive me. Pease don't be mad at me. You're the best Judith!!!

  6. [CN: Not funniness, so serious] I just love that the real transcripters at TBTSNBN are (a) spending months and months recreating transcripts that already exist, anybody can get them from the state of Texas and (b) under the delusion that they can copyright a transcript of a public hearing.

    Thank you for this service you are doing the universe, and yes, I realize I mansplained you into nonexist, saying that.

  7. "Her sweet lips are like a queer man's jazz hands as words tumble and cascade from her gay-souled mouth."

    I'm actually crying with laughter.