job description

As a reminder, here is a list of the many jobs I perform here.

1. Empathic listener
2. Unlicensed clinical therapist
3. Metaphorical sledgehammer
4. Inventor of important and necessary concepts (such as metaphysical blackmail and quartz palace reflector syndrome and ockham's plaid underpants)
5. Jew
6. President
7. Frontline solidier
8. Acupuncturist
9. Feminist gangster
10. Making fetch happen
11. Reader of anonymous screen caps
12. Self-published author
13. Personal assistant to Judy Shakestown
14. For several years, I've been in complete charge of pretty much everything in my life. There's certain things that you just can't have control of, sir.
15. Professional lister
16. Garbageperson
17. Meteorologist
18. Cunstronaut
19. Robomod
20. Blogger
21. Informal correspondent to the white house
22. Zookeeper
23. Meta-content generator