SCREAM KICK THE WALL NOOOOOOOOOOOO. It. is. fucking. snowing. IN WINTER. Elevenzilliony.
This is what I have to look at from inside my temperature-controlled HOUSE. Who fucking snows in winter? Like seriously, WTF?!!??!!? Follow your own fucking calendar, Smother Nature.
I don't know how I can seriously be expected to continue sitting at my desk typing indecipherable screeds and taking pictures of myself when it is FUCKING winter outside. AGAIN.
All I have been hearing since NOVEMBER is what a long, horrible cuntwinter this has been. Yeah, ok, fuck your unexamined privilege, doucheflakes. It's fine and great to jizz about the weather and make up insensitive nicknames like "cuntwinter," but until you have lived inside my house, you really have no. fucking. clue. We need to keep in mind that there are people for whom the winter is a real actual obstacle to their creative processes. People who work outside the home, live on the streets, shovel their own sidewalks, or actually have to touch and experience the snow do not understand what it is like for those of us who have to stare out the fucking window and look at it. STOP BEING SNOW, tyrannical special snowflakes. BE. WATER.
OF COURSE, this all happens on the one sacred weekend in which I am to be celebrated as the living reincarnation of Saint Patrick. WTF.
And as if THAT weren't enough I now have icicle penis daggers hanging down from our porch roof.
ICICLE. PENIS. DAGGERS.
Reread that again. Icicle. Penis. Daggers. You might as well just pour acid on my face LOL.
So anyway, this is where I have been the past few weeks. If you wrote to me and I didn't write back it's because I've been sitting patiently at my window, taking notes, and policing the weather for tyranny and misogyny. I'll let you know if anything changes. It's a tiresome job, but I guess I'll just add fucking meteorologist to my resume now too. Is there anything I CAN'T do??!? LOL.
