Monday, January 20, 2014

i get hate mail and my great new idea

[redacted] writes:
Subject: Sorry for expecting you to Do More Work, but
[edited by moderator to add CN: gmail discrimination]
I'm almost as afraid to comment on your blog as I am at TBTSNBN, ;-), but I think this blog--I mean YOU, Judith Shakestown, are really, really, really funny. Your attention to the detail of the language of that other place is what gets me most, but also, your absolutely spot-on take on the mood and attitude of you-know-how. Brav@! p.s. that's my own gender/nongender-inclusive way of praising you. I hope you appreciate the tribute.

btw, I don't have any of the accounts required to comment on the blog, so pleeeeeease forgive me for taking it to your inbox instead of commenting. And feel free to publish this anonymously as a comment on your "About" page, if you want, which is where I was trying to do it. :D
LOLVOMSMASH. WTF. MESUS CHRIST ON A [CN: white hatred] CRACKER. NO. I will tell all of you exactly what I told Mr/Ms/Dr/Elephant Redacted:
Dear [Redacted],

I think YOU are hilarious!
That said, if you had been studiously studying my blog as required before commenting or emailing you would see that I don't have an "About" page because it is not MY job to tell you what MY blog is about. I'm also not going to repost your comment for you [I am going to repost your comment for you] because you're too lazy/fauxgressive to open one of the five fucking accounts required to post it yourself.
I have decided though, of my own accord, an idea that came from my very own brainy brain, to open up the comments to anonymous trolls who don't have googldiedoo accounts, etc. I know, I am full of brilliant ideas that I come up with completely on my own. You are now free to commenty comment with your comments to your queer-brained content. However, you should know that I will hold you in contempt whether you repost your comment or not because it's MY prerogative to feel whatever I feel without input from cunt-nosed yahoo-ers who just want to non-existence me.
Brainstronaut Judy Shakestown
Time spent composing this e-mail: 300 hours
Now you can see the unmoderated fuckfloodtornado of ridiculousness that I have to deal with on any given Monday of the Judeo-Christian anti-atheist calendar.

On an unrelated note, I had the best idea ever, which is to open comments and make it easier for you to share my your thoughts here since I so clearly LOVE people and all of my shakestownie commenters.


  1. I feel like I crucified you with my hatemail. {CN:bras.]

    1. Anonymous Atheist-Hater, please stop nonexistencing me with your presumptions that I am interested in or can relate to whatever you have to say about crucifixes.

      Also, fuck bras for no real reason. I have a boob disorder that prevents me from wearing bras. Thanks a lot for not understanding. It always feels great to be kicked in the chest by commenters in my own fucking space.

  2. [CN: words, punctuation]

    Bwahahaha!! I have a cavernous love for you! Absolutely brilliant and LOL funny.

    Feel free to abuse me [not that I'm asking you to Do More Work]; it couldn't be any worse than what I was subjected to at TBTSNBN by the Dead Poet.

    1. Because of my reading disorder (I have a compulsion to respond to everything without reading it), what I have taken from your comment, Anonymous [Coward], is that you want me to do more work.

      Why don't you take a flying leap off a leap pad, you vicious frog!

    2. Ah, I feel right at home!

      By the way, is using the Reply button acceptable in this Advanced Cult Space?

    3. ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS WITH THIS ABLEIST WHORESHIT? You are only to use the super-reply button. How many times do I have to never have fucking said this?? Do you just hate me and all people with disabilities, Anonymous Coward?

      SOB. My life is so fucking hard, people (and otherkin/robots). Fuck this stupid place. You are all ruining it and my entire life.

      Thanks for reading! Your support means so much to me.

    4. "otherkin/robots": i think i love you

    5. I think 'otherkin/robots' would be a great name for a band!

    6. Ohp, whoops. Copyright IT ALL forever the end. I worked for a lawyer's paralegal as a babysitter for her niece's American Girl doll, so I know all about how the law works, so don't even try to second guess me, fucking band name thieving blog reader.

    7. " I worked for a lawyer's paralegal as a babysitter for her niece's American Girl doll, so I know all about how the law works"

      oh my MESUS (Yousus?), you are the funniest. THE. funniest.

  3. OMG, I just caught this: "because it is not MY job to tell you what MY blog is about."

    oh, oops--I'm sorry I evidently didn't read your precious words as closely as they deserved at first. Your writing is more brilliant and glub-making than anything any so-called fauxgressive non-intersectional "feminists" could "write." You speak for me; you complete me. Not that you are required to complete me, notice me, or do anything at all. I'm sure in a moment your co-moderator yahoo_yak will swoop in to tell me what I've done wrong in this comment.

    1. Anonymous, I don't want to speak for Judy, but I think she would gently point out that there is no one here named yahoo_yak and that demanding fictitious moderators respond to your comments puts unacceptable pressure on our mistressblogleader who is already on the brink of a full blown breakdown thanks to you and our many thoughtless commenters. Get it together.

    2. I'm sorry. I would gently point out, however, that I wasn't demanding--just stating an expectation. I know it is wrong of me to Expect More, however, and, as I told Judith privately, I will ban myself now. I'm only sorry that I didn't stick to it when I previously said I would.