Tuesday, January 28, 2014


[[[[CN: Use of meta-content notes] CN: Use of content notes] CN: Taking something useful and making it obsolete] CN: Content]]]]


  1. [CN: no content]

  2. [Content Note: I am discontented.]

  3. (CN: eating, eggs, me) I am eating eggs.

    1. [CN: I am eating an egg-based breakfast burrito]

      I am eating an egg-based breakfast burrito.

    2. Judith, please don't make me feel unsafe as a non-egg-based-breakfast-burrito eater.

  4. [CN: reading]

    Reading this gave me all the glubs, Jude. You are fantasticosquared. GLUBFOREVER

    1. Jim the Yam, I AM NOT SQUARE.

      I find your comment woefully at odds not only with my clear ROUNDNESS, but also with what our Maudess Ani Difranco once said in her song "I'm no heroine":
      some guy designed the room i'm standing in / another built it with his own tools / who says i like right angles? / these are not my laws / these are not my rules

      Right angles will NOT be tolerated in this space. While I understand that some people prefer squares and this is a completely valid concern, I am actively choosing to center people who prefer circles here and your comments about squares nonexistence them and make this round space unsafe for them.

    2. Judith, please forgive me for not adequately considering my compliment to you. Although I meant to use "squared" in the mathematical sense, I understand now that it could interpreted as privileging square shapes and/or persons who prefer squares. Thank you for the enlightenment-building and consciousness-raising, which I know takes so many cocktail forks.

  5. [CN: Note to Janet Snakehole and friday jones; hearts]

    Janet Snakehole and friday jones, hearts.

    1. I'm more than just my circulatory system's main organ, and I do not appreciate how you de-existify my liver. In the interests of keeping this a space, I suggest that you read the posting guidelines and "Tom Sawyer, Detective."

    2. That is so spot-on how a certain blogger I cannot name reacts to compliments/support, it makes me cringe with joy.

    3. [CN: Content Notes only work if you read them]

      FJ, I really appreciate the assumption that I don't understand the megametric fuckton of anti-liver garbage that is out there, given that I have a completely liverific liver that is under constant scrutiny from everyone in the multigalaxy. This is why I intentionally included a content note for hearts. Please keep in mind that not reading through the entirety of all posts before commenting is grounds for banning.

  6. I was born with my liver outside my body and had to have it surgically grafted to my penis to - and now I said penis, so I'm as bad as JOSSGARBAGEFUCKWHEDON.


    I know I don't have to tell any of you how BUSY I am, with all my many ally works. No one but Judith, my master and mentor, can know the struggle and the pain of being an ally to so many Others who never asked me to do that. (Plus, they all seem to follow the dictionary definition of "ally," which gives me the opportunity to be an even greater ally to them and inform them of their internalized privileges. Yesterday I told one of the Mexican day laborers hanging around the pinata stand what racism was. I only speak English and he only spoke Spanish, but I didn't have time to teach him any 101 stuff.)

    However, I just popped in to let everyone know how the transcription projects were going.

    First, I am so glad to be able to say: TRANSCRIBING THE DSM, VOLS. I-5 IS NEARLY COMPLETE. Once a few proofreads come in (you know who you are, and your allyship is hanging by a thread, I have to say), we'll be able to publish the entire set and sell them on Kindle.

    Transcribing the complete run of the Home Shopping Network, 1985-present, has unfortunately hit a snag, in that the ally with the VCR has died of totally-not-about-weighing-a-thousand-pounds causes. (All the best allies drop dead from strokes at twenty-three.) MORE ALLIES ARE NEEDED, STAT. Don't bother if you have Owning a DVD Player privilege, though.

    Finally, as it turns out, you can't copyright an alphabet the way we copyrighted the Bible and the Manhattan yellow pages, 1965-1973, when we transcribed those. The patriarchy has won that round, and I must in all sorrow tell my sweetest allies to stop transcribing the world's alphabets. One day they will not be able to silence us this way, I promise you.

    If it helps, there is another transcription project coming up, right after I spend the next eight months deconstructing Goodnight Moon into A Child's Atlas Shrugged. I can't give too many details, yet, but...let's just say it's Atlas Shrugged. THAT, we can copyright and nobody can stop us, bwahahahahhahahaa rape.

    --Ana, who wishes she could sue her name for being a rapist and always reminding her of "anal"

  8. Ana, I can't tell you how amazeballs you are for all the hard work you do. Every time you post someone else's cute animal pic or re-write your comment policy, I am reminded anew of what a strong, independent-minded feminist your are. And the fact that you've back-burnered your deconstructions in favor of "open threads" from your mods and posts on the othering of tuna casserole? You are my GLUBSOBFART hero(ine).

    1. Jim,

      In order to earn judicookies, I must inform you that you failed to comply with the commenting rule about engaging the Reply button when responding to a post. Failure to do so will result in your post being deleted which is another rule that you are expected to read Judith's mind to know.

      Mesus floptart, people. Is it really all that difficult to accommodate people stricken with linear thread-reading disorders?!?! This elides a real fucking disability and non-existences an astromonical number of people in the judiverse including ME. GLORPSOB.

      - Auntie Non-existent Alias

    2. [CN: triggers] I am triggered by the invisibling of people with Thread-Reading Disorder Type II which makes it harder to read flat comment threads. We have a visual processing disorder that makes us forget what comment halfway up the page every reply might be addressed to and it tends to make the comment section into meaningless garble.

    3. [CN: agreement with a point others may disagree with; apprehension about being wrong; content notes] For reals, Anonymous, that's an excellent point.


  9. [CN: recursion]

    [CN: [CN: [CN: [CN: [CN: [CN: [CN: [CN: [CN: .... ]]]]]]]]]

  10. HolofernesHadItComingJanuary 30, 2014 at 3:47 AM

    [CN: textiles, moisture, counting, taking responsibility for one's own self]

    Not to be the sort of wet blanket who audits another commenter's language choices, but Jim the Yam's parentheticalizing of the feminine -- "hero(ine)" -- is highly problematic in multiple ways, and if this is to remain a safe space, the following totes relevant issues must be beaten with our cocktail forks until all the horses in all the multiverses have gone Cryptkeeper:

    1. Jim is obvs the sort of dude who projects his dudely nature outwards in the general.
    2. Yams are also very dudely.
    3. ???
    4. Profit.
    5. Which of course completely explains why capitalism is hyperdimensional garbage, and that's some sexist cowshit right there, Sparky.

    In conclusion, I feel The Yam should prostrate himself on a floor full of spent butt plugs and beg for Yousus to forgive him, despite the fact that what he really deserves is to be scathingly, non-ironically, contemptuously, over-adverbedly banninated.

  11. HolofernesYAKKITYYAKGLYBSPIT, I am massively triggered by what you have written about me. You should know that in this massively safe space that Judith spends her blood, sweat, and blubs maintaining, that words have meanings and are always triggering to everybody.

    1. If you had read the 113,000 words that are required reading before posting your LOLSOBFART fest, you would know that numbering your list of complaints feeds into a Western white heterosexual male kyrarchical system of numbering things, eliding the fact that I am a better person than you.

    2. Your assumption that I am a "dude" both invalidaticoats and elidifies and ALSO invisibilalidates the possibility that I am a non-dude, AND said previous assumption promotifies and visibilizidizes the evil kyrarchical genderified system which serves as nothing more than a rapeculture SPLATZBLORTSHART.

    3. Your comment that "yams are very dudely" does all of the above, PLUS elides the lived experiences of all non-dudely yams, centering the unimportant lived experiences of dudely yams, who as you should know are PRIVILEGED.

    4. You probably didn't like Breaking Bad, either.

    5. You hereby fail the Bechdel Test.

    17. Your own name elides the invalidatizates and trivializifizes the lived experiences of those of us who do not know who Holofernes is.

    82. Blub.

  12. HolofernesHadItComingJanuary 30, 2014 at 3:47 PM

    See* how dudes are? They always think this song is about them, even when it goes out of its passive-aggressive way to avoid a direct address. You want my attention? You got it, Yammy.

    1. Don't insult my reading comprehension again. I have at least bieberteen different learning disorders that you or no one else here has ever heard of, and every last one of them is more serious than anything you and everyone else you know has ever dealt with.

    2 & 3. Speaking as a non-dude who has had plentiful interactions with many multiples of plethoras and myriad dudes, I think I know a thing or two about yams.

    4. Dude, you really don't want to go mixing yams and meth.


    17. Hey you do math the same way I do! We shouldn't fight, especially not in this sacred space.

    82a. I offer you a dry blanket for your dudely tears; it is made of olive branch and now we can be besties! (Protip: don't google Holofernes from the House of Judith, at least, not while drinking wine.)

    1. Don't invisibilize my lived experiences by stating or implying that YOU have had lived experiences, too. Because you haven't, you oppressive invisibilizer of the racist homophobic fat-hating Joss Whedon kyrarchy.

      Your interactions with yams elide my lived experience of BEING a yam.

      Your offer of a dry blanket is insultuous and invisibilizing of people who have no blankets at all. Don't you know that there are persons in the multigalaxy who can't even afford tears? Who can't. Afford. Tears.


      Also, my lived experience tells me that I own a pair of socks that was once worn by a character on The Incredible Hulk. I took a foot-selfie of myself in them so everyone can see how oppressed by the fat-foot kyrarchy I truly am.

  13. [CN: hashtags]


  14. [CN: Biscuits, Poop]

    Biscuits make me poop.

  15. (Content note: note) Noted, no shit!