Tuesday, February 18, 2014

social justice points drive

Here's the reminder for those who have requested it.* This blog doesn't run on cocktail forks or your mindless devotion or your being completely, unquestioningly in.

I don't say this to guilt you or suggest that you should give me your last child support dollars (though to my knowledge neither I nor Saul the Potato have ever denounced his once insinuating that you should).

In all honesty it goes against my nature to ask for money. However, I made the choice to blog full-time. You have made the choice to consume my full-time work. Therefore, you owe me money. One doesn't have to be a logician or live inside Ockham's plaid underpants to realize that you are indebted to me.

This blog is basically like a newspaper, for which most people still pay subscriptions, amiright, except that I take all letters to the editor and ceremoniously burn them in effigy to Mesus each night while cackling and plotting how I will next convince myself that I am not emotionally abusing my readership. Thus, my work has value. And, listen, it is unfortunate that this kind of work isn't more highly valued and that most bloggers have to put extra work or creativity into generating income from their blogs. But fuck that. I don't need to take time away from quadruple posting things on twitter and my blog and my trash blog and posting youtube videos that you can find on your own due to the magic of google. Failing to hold the blog hostage to your donations is anti-justice.

That said, it's your choice to pay your tab or not. I am not asking anyone to struggle on behalf of this blog anymore than my husband (whose salary is more or less searchable) and I should have to make ourselves fucking homeless in order to keep running this blog from a pile of garbage in a landfill where it is always fuckwintercunttornadoshitland.

So yeah, if you enjoy the content and if you "can," then please be completely unquestioningly in...with your finances.

This is also the post where I will be super responsive and uncharacteristically kind to all commenters, so enjoy!


*Although requests for me to do more work (logic dictates that you likely have a calendar where you can set up your own reminders) are normally viewed as unwelcome demands I am going to go ahead and do you this favor on this one out of my own kindness.


  1. I ... I have nothing to say except where do I go to pay you? Shakestown is the shakiest, towniest town I have ever been in. It is my Sane Place. I glub daily at the work you do, and I mean that in the best way, with the brightness of 2,000 Miley Cyruses' worth of shining teeth.



  2. Thank YOU, yahoo_yak. For today and today only, I love and appreciate you. Your support means SO much to me and to Mr. Shakestown. Thanks for keeping us off the street!

  3. I have the warmest place in the Shakestowniest part of my heart, when I think about sending you money, Judy. As soon as my disability check clears, and as soon as I have made the co-pays for my husband's life-saving medication, and perhaps contributed to the jar that holds the money for my child's allotted one new shirt for the year, YOU will be getting the $2.37 that will be left.

    Nowhere else can I find cut-and-pasted news articles of politics and news with one line of commentary, or pictures of a dog sprawled on a couch! When I remember that the blog also contains posts saying that Breaking Bad is awesome (because where else could I ever find those???), I lift my cocktail fork to the sky and say: to hell with paying my rent this month!

    94.8% in,
    Jim the Yam

    1. Jim the Yam, glub. Thanks for valuing women's work. Rent is basically bull shit anyway and paying rent is not a feminist act. All the cocktail forks and social justice points to you, my good root vegetable.

  4. Well its been a rough winter, and we had to trade our pet cow Betsy for some magic beans but I'm going the signs my family farm over to you and thanks for all that you do. The younguns should be able to make it in the city as beggars or something. Social justice is just so important to me, and I am terrified that you might start talking off Mondays in addition to you r usual Friday time off to rest from the spoil crushing burdens of blogging.

  5. Thank you, Friday Jones. Seriously, I've had it up to my knees with this fe fi fo fuckwinter. It's been hard on us ALL. I can barely see three quarters of my mailbox FFS. How am I supposed to GET MY MAIL? More evidence that the universe HATES people who have the bravery to work from home. Too bad about your cow though LOL.

    Your support is very important to me. Thanks again, my fair minion.

  6. I am donating a small gilded boathouse from one of my mansions on the Moon to Shakestown, you ought to be able to pawn that for a few bucks, I don't know, I'm not very good with money. All I know is that during a time of great stress for me and my immediate family, you cheered all twelve of us up immensely with your series of articles about my Presidential campaign in which you included images of me standing in front of giant flags while demanding to know where the giant flag I ordered was. I haven't had that many laughs since my days as a Missionary in France.

  7. You're welcome and thank you, Gloves. This very nearly settles your debt to me.

  8. I deeply appreciate your immense kindness and sensitivity, Judy. Although you never express it in any way, shape or form, I know you mean it. I understand that your time is consumed by important feminist work such as watching TV, writing TV recaps, snapping photos of your pets and yourself, taking screenshots of your texts with Cheeky, messing around in Photoshop, and tweeting all the livelong day. Also, too, are your heroic efforts to keep this blog unsafe for everyone but you.

    I have decided to forego my life-saving medications for the next month so I can send you a donation. Don't try to talk me out of it. I insist!

    With (hopefully) undying gratitude,
    Auntie Alias

  9. Thank you, Auntie Alias. May your gratitude continue to stretch just short of death. It means the multigalaxy to me.

  10. Galactus, Devourer of WorldsFebruary 20, 2014 at 12:38 AM

    I shall donate to you the life force of a hundred fecund worlds, that you may spread your wise white woman's words of feminist activism throughout the cosmos. There are many more worlds filled with the precious life force that I can devour in their stead.

    1. Thank you so much, Galactus. Just to let you know, I stopped being white when I married my husband who is a green martian. But, in the spirit of good faith, this is just a gentle correction. Thanks for the life forces!